I want to start by asking a simple question and that is, can you imagine tasking and achieving something that is bigger than you? The answer to this is less intricate than you may realize, but do not strain yourself to answer this right now. Hopefully, throughout these blogs, you will understand the purpose of this question and possibly even have a response.
What I would like to address first is possibly one of the most prevalent issues amongst young people today: insecurity. I have learned many things about the uncertainty of oneself and the most important thing I have concluded is that insecurity is a delusional, self-misperception of what is within…your inward security. Okay, so let us dissect the two words of “inward” and “security”. The word inward means, “Directed or proceeding toward the inside; coming in from the outside” and the word security means, “the state of being free from danger or threat”. So if you put the two together to say inward security you are referring to your ability to feel safe within yourself. So if you feel insecure then we are referring to how you do NOT feel safe within yourself, the way you perceive yourself. Look at the word security and re-read the definition. Within the meaning, it states the words “danger” and “threat”. Take a look even further at the entire word of inward security and if you notice, you will see that inward security is also understood as the ability to protect yourself from those “dangers” and “threats” proceeding from various external elements. And so from knowing all of that, it is safe for us to assume that confidence is likely the chief component of this entire thing. Your confidence is what protects you from those said dangers and threats coming in from the outside. It’s like a protective wall to let in the good and keep out the bad. Examples of these said dangers and threats could be supposed friends you hang around, television shows you watch, video games you engage in, the music you listen to, the things you read and even the places you go.
If someone says to you, “You are ugly, worthless, stupid and unloved” how would you respond back to them? Psalms 139:14 reads, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well”. I hope your reply revolved somewhere around this well-known verse. What you consent to will inadvertently (and unapologetically) affect you and what you believe to be true of your inward security. So you should surround yourself with positivity, speak positivity, be exuberant and boast positivity so that it becomes contagious and spreads to those within the perimeter of your existence. That’s how strong your confidence needs to be! You see, the biggest point I am making with all of this is “you are what you eat”. We are talking about insecurity right now, are we not? If you constantly walk around speaking, thinking, and breathing how insignificant you are, then guess what? That is what you will be. So the great big book of much history, the Bible, says this about insecurity in Proverbs 23:7, “So a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”. Meaning, what you believe yourself to be will eventually manifest itself.
So let us take a moment to consider how we could utilize the key of confidence to build ourselves up. What are some things you can think of that would help build confidence? I actually created a list and was able to identify a few things that have helped me:
- Positive verbal affirmations (Remember Proverbs 23:7)
- Positive written affirmations and placing them somewhere where I can see it
- Writing positive quotes on the mirror (we all check ourselves in the mirror, right?)
- Hugging myself when I feel sad (or hugging someone who I know has my best interest at heart)
- Writing how I feel in a journal
- Writing to someone in a journal (like a conversation) but never giving it to them.
- Treating myself to a movie or a good Netflix movie and some snacks
- Watching my favorite movie more than once (Psst! It’s Moana and everyone knows it 🙂
- Dressing to par even when I am not feeling like it
One last thing I wanted to mention but did not want to bullet is allowing myself to feel how I am feeling at that present moment. Whether you’re feeling sad, upset, jealous, angry, anxious, or however it is you’re feeling allow yourself to process that emotion. It is okay to do that. Here’s the kicker-the key is to not stay there. Do not stay and wallow in depressive feelings because then you begin to crumble and dissolve and you make zero progress. Write down a list of things that make you feel good about yourself, just as I have done, and when you feel hurt or broken-hearted about something refer to your list.
Okay, so now you may be wondering how does this list boost confidence? Here is how. We all have a pretty decent idea of what a habit is, right? Developing positive habits leads to healthy behavioral tactics for managing stress and depression. I took an online brain health course and something quite significant I learned is the process of Neuroplasticity. Does anyone know what Neuroplasticity means and how it relates to developing confidence?
Okay so if you do not know, just click on over to the next tab and allow me to help you discover some magic about your brain you may not have known before. And trust me, this all relates back to the entirety of insecurity. I didn’t know it until I learned it and I will do my absolute best to break it down for you to where it makes the most sense. No silly jargon, argot or strange vernacular involved :-). Pinky promise ;-).
YOU are the mighty warrior ❤