“Stop seeking advice from people who bring balloons to your pity party!”

-Tiara Shari

Dear Youth,

Something I have learned over time is that it is unuseful to you as an individual to constantly be given advice that agrees with what you do and how you feel. God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8). For this reason, amongst others, we should be seeking Godly advice from those with wisdom and understanding of who God is. This means you are going to be given tough love at times. And so while you may consider how you feel to be justified, remember that how God operates it isn’t to accommodate you and make you comfortable. It is to mature you spiritually and make you whole in Him. We have all been wronged in some way: hurt, used, abused, mistreated, beaten, talked about, stabbed in the back…you name it. But guess what, at the end of the day your anger and unforgiveness against that person who wronged you will not be overturned in the presence of God. He will not turn a blind eye to your anger. Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down on your wrath”. This scripture is purposeful in every one of our lives. Do you know why? It is because we, in our flesh, believe we have the right to be angry with people who have wronged us. But if you refer back to Isaiah 55:8, you will see how this is wrong. God wants us to forgive. You may have heard it before, but how can God forgive you if you are unforgiving of thy brethren? Be open and completely receptive of who God is in your life and what it is He asks of you. Do not waste time thinking of ways to get back at someone and how you can cause harm to them. For many years, without even realizing it, I wasted energy conjuring up ways to subtly hurt those who have caused me pain. But you know what? All I did was waste my time and my effort on a situation that would inevitably become meaningless. God will avenge you. Romans 12:19 reads, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord”. And while God is being God, all you need to do is pray for your enemy. Now, what does this have to do with the title of this particular blog? What I am saying is, whenever we find ourselves upset or hurt about something by someone we start running and seeking advice from those who we believe will be in agreement with us and say, “Yes! I hope they pay for what they did to you!” Part of growing up and maturing is knowing when to put down your fist and say, “Lord, I hand it all over to You”. Forgiveness may not happen immediately but it is the process that counts. 

Something I was discussing with my mother just on yesterday is that I tell myself nearly every day “Tiara, I am sorry that (name of the person here) hurt you.” and by me doing this it allows my heart to heal and truly forgive the person who wronged me. It isn’t always easy, but to know that someday I will stand before the almighty God I would rather get it right NOW rather then face the consequences later. This is why I seek advice from those who will counter my anger with words of  Heavenly wisdom.

Think about it, if someone was to constantly agree with you then you would never think you are wrong about anything. If someone were to walk up to you at school and slap your lunch out of your hand, does that give you the right to turn around and knock them unconscious? As justified as you may feel for having done it, the answer is no. Let’s look back at the final moments with Jesus before He died. Look at all that Jesus went through….FOR US…..a mass of people who believed He was lying about who He Truthfully and Rightfully was (is). He was beaten, whipped, stabbed, talked about and made lame before the crowd. But at what point did Jesus drop the cross and say, “You know what, God?! I am OVER THESE PEOPLE! SEND THEM TO HELL!!!!”? When did He ever do that? You see, He never did. He loved us the entire way through and even up until the moment of Him submitting Himself to God. So, if you’re throwing a tantrum about someone slapping your lunch out of your hands, imagine how you would be if you were in Jesus’ predicament. We were made in the likeness of Christ, we should be as such as well.

So stop seeking advice from people who are “bringing balloons to your pity party”. Their advice may very well get you sent to a place you don’t want to be. Instead, learn to love one another. As it says in Galatians 5:22-23 bare the fruits of the spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness and Self-Control and watch how God moves in your life.


Read your word and allow God to grow in your heart ❤

One thought on “Time to Grow Up!

  1. 1 Corinthians 1:27- God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confuse the wise. With Christ reigning in us through His Spirit gives us the strength to forgive. Even what we consider unforgivable. That would be foolish to someone to forgive a spouse for infidelity. The way of the world. But through our Lord and Savior, we can forgive and He would restore that marriage and it would be better than ever. Forgiveness is an action. I cannot treat you with kid gloves if there is true forgiveness. No, I won’t allow you to continue to mistreat me, but I will love with the true love of God.

    Liked by 1 person

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